Society's Role/View.

Lately, society has been very accepting towards teen pregnancy. I remember walking around high school and noticing how many girls were pregnant, and it got to a point where it wasn’t even surprising anymore.  It’s slowly but surely evolving into a “norm”. Teen pregnancy used to be something that was once frowned upon, something you would want to keep to yourself; it’s now being embraced seemingly. I believe society has played a key role for teen pregnancies; society has made it more comfortable for teens to be open with their pregnancy without having to worry as much about how people will view them.  It seems like teen pregnancy is somewhat of a fad, a trend.  So many people are doing it, it almost seems cool to teens.  Believe it or not, some girls actually want to be pregnant.

And to make this situation even more common, the media seems to be both encouraging and trying to minimize teen pregnancy.  You see shows like 16 & Pregnant or Teen Mom, which intentions were to make teens more aware of the reality of teen pregnancy. This show actually showed the raw, uncut reality of teen pregnancy, you usually don’t see the struggle that teens put up with but in Teen Mom you actually do.  Despite trying to make awareness, some teens seem to think of being a teenage mother as being glamorous simply because of how downplayed some the media has made it seem.  The media has a very strong effect on many people’s opinions, choices, and how they act.  Little do teens know, babies aren’t always as cute and cuddly as they seem, they actually require a lot of work.

Back in high school, one of my close friends got pregnant.  All she used to talk about was how she would dress her daughter up, and how cute she would be; little did she know that wasn’t even the half to having a child.  I think that society affected her thoughts on her pregnancy; she didn’t make it a big deal and seemed to be okay with it. As soon as she had her baby, she was in for a reality check.  Society makes teen pregnancy seem a lot easier than what actually is.  The world we live in is definitely a reflection of oblivious we are in certain aspects.

Missing out

I was sitting and reflecting on life, realizing how good I really have it compared to many others.  Then I couldn't help but think of my mother.  She sacrificed so much just to make sure my needs were met and I had a good life.  I never realized how much of my mothers childhood she missed out on because of being a teenage mother.  Things I wouldn't consider a big deal, like hanging out with friends and  being involved in school activities, they were all things my mom didn't get a chance to do because she was busy either taking care of me or working.  She even put her education on hold to be a provider, I feel like I can understand the struggle of being being a teenage mom more and I recognize the sacrifices they make.  Regardless of what people make them out to be, teen mothers are extremely strong individuals.  Raising a child isn't a walk in the park, whether your a teen or an adult, being a parent isn't easy.  Sure, there's books you can buy for parenting skills, preparation before parenthood, the whole nine yards, but I don't think books, age, or anything else is the determining factor of how good of a parent you are to your child.

The most sacrifices that teen mothers make would be giving up their education.  Hmm, a job at your local grocery store taking the place of you going to school doesn't seem like the most appealing trade off does it? Well, I'm pretty sure its not to those who chose it, but thats the sacrifice in being a mother to your child.  Many teens stop attending school because they don't have the time to balance work, school, and a baby.  Understandable.  But the bad thing is most girls settle for minimum wage jobs and end up stuck with no hopes for advancement.

Being a teenage mother has to be tough, I couldn't imagine trading a night going to my favorite singers concert with staying up for hours trying to get a baby to stop crying.  Giving up your social life for working and raising a baby isn't the best tradeoff, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I'm pretty sure girls don't grow up wanting to be a teen mom and give up their childhood, but life would be life without the unexpected speed bumps and turns we come across every now and then.  Although being a teenage mother isn't the easy task to take on, in the end motherhood is rewarding in itself.  While you may be missing out on the party of the year with your best friends, spending time with your child and watching it grow up through each stage of it's life is worthwhile.

Children Raising Children.

How would you describe the average sixteen year old? Rebellious, irresponsible, and immature would be the main things most people would consider your average teen to be.  But just because everyones views are similar, doesn't mean they are necessarily accurate.  People feel as though teens aren't mature enough to raise a child because they lack the necessary qualities a parent must have.  Mental capacity is something adults feel teens don't have and actually wont have until later in life.  Of course, this can be true, I can't knock anyones opinion, but it's not always.  Many thins are involved when it comes to raising a child, but just because someone isn't in the 'normal' age category of becoming a mother doesn't mean they're incapable or unable to take care of their child.  Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there have been plenty cases where a teen mom didn't take care of her child as she should.  But just like all of the cases where a teenage mother didn't play her role as a mother as she should, there are many cases that are the exact opposite.

Of course as a teenage parent, your still a child yourself.  Major adjustments have to be made in their lives and they have to grow up a lot sooner than expected, but thats pregnancy for you.  Being a teenage mother comes with a lot, your childhood is thrown out the window and your life pretty much revolves around your child.  Without a doubt, this isn't easy, nor is it something you can fully accomplish overnight.  I believe that even though you may be in your teens, if you take your situation seriously, then you'll be able to be a parent.  Age is just a number, and just because someone is younger than the average parent doesn't necessarily make them less of one.  I know many 'children' who raised their child and they ended up fine.  Take me for example, I feel like I'm completely normal, even though my mother wasn't an adult she still raised me well.

Age doesn't define maturity.  There are plenty of adult children in the world who are way less mature than some kids.  Most teens who are parents have to accept their responsibilities and grow up even if they don't to.  Children raising children isn't something to be frowned upon, we should actually be proud of them, many teens have placed their child up for adoption or even aborted because they felt they weren't ready to be a parent.  Choosing to keep your baby and giving up your childhood is something very commendable and unselfish, instead of looking down at these teenage parents, respecting the fact that they chose to keep their child is something that should be done instead.  Plenty of people who done it have raised acceptable children.

Sex won't make him love you. A baby won't make him stay.

                           I had this one friend who was in love, better yet borderline obsessed with her boyfriend.  In some strange way, I thought their relationship was cute; they had been together from sophomore year up until graduation.  In the beginning of senior year, she got pregnant.  And not surprisingly, she was excited about the pregnancy and even more anxious to start a family of her own.  As her pregnancy progressed and she was getting closer to her due date, the less you saw of her boyfriend.  After having her baby, the father was barely existent and didn’t play much of a role to his daughter as he should.  Here she is, wondering what went wrong, and working three jobs to make ends meet since she’s the only caregiver.  This situation reminded me of MTV’s Teen Mom Maci and her relationship with her ex fiancé and father of her child.  She realized that a baby wouldn’t guarantee a guy would stay.  Their relationship shattered once they realized how hard being a parent was, which is what happens a lot with teens.  A baby is a lot of work, they require much time and patience, and so it’s not surprising that once a baby comes into the picture, maintaining a relationship gets harder.

                            Unfortunately, many teen mothers relationship with the father doesn’t last as expected.  You cant get pregnant and think you’ve trapped someone into being with you because most likely… It won’t work.  That’s another downer to teenage pregnancy, even though you may not feel 100% prepared, you still have that mother’s instinct.  The father on the other hand tends to be less actively involved in their child’s life because they typically don’t take everything as serious as a female would.  After separating, many issues can be involved, such as child support.  Chances are, just like a teenage mother, the father may be jobless, or he may go out & find a job especially because he has to provide, but males don’t feel as obligated as a mother would.  This is why many teen moms have such a heavy burden on them; most of them are single parents of doing things on their own.  Nine times out of ten the mom spends the majority of the time with her child, so the dad’s role isn’t necessarily equal.  Teenagers, especially boys are still not fully matured, so it’s not surprising to see a teen mom being the primary caregiver and the dad still being caught up in his life.

                            Bottom line, pregnancy doesn’t guarantee a lasting relationship now does it guarantee someone will love you.  Teenage mothers face situations like this because of their mindset being that a baby would make things better, or having the mindset that you’ll be one happy family.  Most teenage parents don’t stay together, I can use mine as a prime example.  My mother thought my father would be as equally involved as she.  She thought they would be together forever, but now, I can’t imagine that at all.  Just because you both share the job of being a parent, doesn’t mean that you’ll automatically have a great relationship.